


The birthdaycake-war (beta read!)

by Citrininja_Gottadoitmyself



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: #birthday cake, #cake, #crisis, #humorous, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 02:19:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4769855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Citrininja_Gottadoitmyself/pseuds/Citrininja_Gottadoitmyself
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every year -since the year before 3 years ago- the Fullbuster family is facing a bad crisis in the week before the 13.7. A crisis which really endangers the family peace and Gray’s patience.... The week leading up to the birthday of their beloved daughter Ruby...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The birthdaycake-war (beta read!)

tenth cake  
Gray: “Erza!!!! We had a deal!  
You are not allowed to enter the kitchen, have you forgotten?”

Erza: “I am your wife, how are you treattiiiii... give me.....” *stretching*

Gray was lucky that he was a bit taller than her but this little advantage was barely enough to keep her at bay, because her immense willpower and persistance almost made up for these few inches. Gray tried his hardest to save the tenth birthday cake he had baked for Ruby.

Gray: “ How many innocent cakes have to fall prey to you before you are finally satisfied!!!”

Erza who was in a cake ecstasy wasn’t the same reasonable Erza we all know and the next answer she spoke came in a rather dark tone. Erza: “ There aren’t nearly enough cakes being baked in this world to make this happen.”  
Gray: “ Erza, this isn’t ... funny.”

He barely escaped her next attack.

Not this one.

It had taken him half an eternity to decorate it  
(He had a foible for it, ok? And it was fun to do, ok?)

This cake had to survive.

Erza used her most effective weapon against him.... Gray knew what to expect after seeing her puppy eyes.  
He gulped.  
Because he knew that he was doomed, the outcome was inescapable .  
You may be able to predict it, but there was no human being able to resist a  
whiny Erza, no one....

At least not him, who was madly in love with this cake destroying madwomen!!!

Erza: “ But they are so damn delicious *whine*!”

10:0 for Erza

Eleventh cake

Gray: “ No, Erza this time it won’t work. It won’t, so don’t even try to compliment me. IT. WON’T. WORK! Buy yourself cakes from the bakery store if you cannot control your desire for cake.”

Erza: “ Gray, I wasn’t lying, your cakes are simply delicious.”

Gray: “ I already fell for that once!”

Erza: “ But it is true!”

She was stretching her hands out again and jumping like a little rabbit following the cake plate which he was whirling fom one hand to the other.

God she was adorable! How could a fully grown woman become so damm adorable just at the sight of cake?

And this was bad ok?  
It was, so don’t try to tell him differently!! Just don't.  
This was totally mean. Totally mean, totally... Putting Gray under immense stress. His will power was almost losing to her.

Gray: “ That’s hardly surprising, I have trained baking cakes for you since we become official.”

Erza: “ I know this sounds -ahh give me a bite- harsh perha... -cake!- but this was one reason I chooooo   
-cake!-.... I choose you over Jellal.”

Gray was shocked for just a few seconds, he didn’t know what to say...

These seconds were enough for Erza....

He sighed, and looked at Erza, who beamed like a five year old birthday child, who was finishing up the cake with shining eyes.“

Twelfth cake

Erza: “ This is simply ridiculous!”

Gray covered his ears with his hands.

Oh no!... No, no, no....  
He already felt for this stragety.  
And only because of that the fifth cake had to die.

Still somehow Erza had a point.

She was standing in front of the kitchen door which was frozen and bearing many shields . Even secret ice traps were installed to keep her out.

Gray didn’t mind! At all!

Whether he had already lost it?

He couldn’t say for sure.

But he knew something for sure.

This  
cake  
had  
to  
survive  
NO MATTER WHAT!

And if he had to look stupid, so be it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Erza: “ I will tell the guild.”

*stung*

He had to stay strong!!!

Erza: “ How long are you intending to stay in there anyway? You locked yourself up in there for two days already.”

Gray: “Till Ruby’s birthday if necessary!”

Erza: “Come on, I couldn’t be so .... Was I really so bad? How many cakes did I...”

Gray: “Eleven Erza, eleven!!!!”

Erza: “ Eleven? Only eleven? And because of that you are making such a hugh fuss abou...”

Gray pulled the door open and was hit by his own traps.

Erza (in the same tone as the Wallace from Wallace and Gromit would use when seeing cheese): “ Caaaaake!”

Thirteenth cake

Gray kept his previous strategy but this time he was playing loud music in the kitchen, to protect himself against Erza’s verbal traps. He cursed himself. He should have known his wife better.

Erza: “This gets more and more complicated!”

Gray: “Oh really? Maybe this was my bloody intention, Erza!!!”

Erza: “So you can still hear me!”

Gray: “How couldn’t I, you are using a bloody loudhailer, aren’t you?”

Erza: “It’s your own fault, you’re forcing me to use one! How else should you be able to hear me with this loud music playing in the background?”

Gray: “Coudn’t it be that you wanted to say, how else would I be able to get convinced by you to hand over the cake?”

Erza: “Gray! I am warning you! Don’t be irresponsible! This is really my last warning! This is nothing personal. I really love you, I really do and I also love our kitchen...”

Gray: “DON’T. EVEN. THINK. ABOUT. IT! I MEAN IT! DON’T! Destroy our kitchen and I will nev-er bake you cake ever again till I die!!!”

Erza was hit by her own backfire strongly, she needed five minutes to recover from it a bit... but she was still trembling...

Erza: “ I know we are at war (Gray laughed dryly), but this was even under these circumstances simply too mean. I hope you agree.”

Gray: “ Erza, I am not able to take this into consideration, ok? I have a birthday cake to protect, Er-za!!!!! A birthday cake! These belong to to an endangered species in our home. I cannot care about anything else at this moment .”

Erza: “ You are really overreacting, Gray! This is only the thirteenth cake you are protecting here! Last year you already baked thirty cakes in the first five days. Don’t you think I improved and that I deser-ve a reward?”

Gray, dryly: “ Which kind of reward are we speaking of?”

Erza (again her voice became sinister all of the sudden, dark like the voice of a villain) : “ How about this yummy, innocent cake you are protecting …”  
Gray had pulled a string and a water bucket emptied itself over her head.

Erza snapped out of her villain mode. She looked down and saw that her clothes were wet.

Erza: “Wha…Was I again almost lost to the dark side?”

Gray: “Yep.”

Erza: “Sorry.”

Gray: “ Nevermind.”

The next day   
STILL the thirtheenth cake!!!???!!!??

Gray couldn’t believe it. This cake really survived another day!!!  
He became paranoid.He obsessed over it.

It was too quiet. Damn it, it was simply too quiet, ok?????  
All the little noises of the kitchen sounded so loud in comparison.

Where was Erza?

What was her next plan? Next move?

What took her so long?  
This was unusual.  
He was fucking afraid! OK?

This was bad. This was very bad.  
This could only be a bad omen. He was certain about that.  
What could he do, what should he do? Oh god.

What if she got angry?

What if she wanted to leave him now?

What if she found someone else, who would bake her cakes instead? Perhaps even tastier ones?

What if she would fall for this person? What if this person would be Jellal????…  
He opened the door hurriedly.  
And looked straight at a hungry looking Erza, who was holding the sleeping Ruby in her arms.  
Her eyes glazed over dangerously. But Gray felt too relieved to react in time and didn’t mind.  
Erza pressed Ruby to Gray’s chest, to get his hands occupied and darted for the cake like a predator.  
Gray sighed, while swaying Ruby back and forth

Fourteenth cake

Gray was reading the newspaper in the living room.

Ruby’s birthday cake stood in the kitchen on a silver tablet (literally) , wide open for predators on the kitchen table without any protection, standing on a silver tablet.

Erza looked warily from the cake to Gray and back to the cake again .

Erza: “ Ok Gray, what is going on?”

Gray: “ Natsu destroyed a neighbor town again and Laxus is on the top page of sorcerers.”

Erza: “ Who cares about that at the moment! You know what I am talking about!”

Gray stood up.

Gray: “ I think I will go for a walk, and take Ruby along, so she can play a bit at the playground., Be-ing locked-in in the kitchen for four days was a bit tight.”  
He gave Erza a little kiss who still looked totally confused.

Gray: “ Can I?”

Erza: “ But, but, who will look after the cake?”

Gray: “ Uh yes, the cake, I almost forgot, could you look after it while I am gone?”  
Erza looked at him as if he was insane. 

Erza: “ Gray did you lost you mind? You are asking me to look after a cake?”

She was trembling.  
Gray: “ Yeah if you wouldn’t mind. I really need some fresh air.”

Erza: “ I cannot do that Gray! I simply cannot.”

Gray caught her hands, held them in this own.

Gray: “ I am believing in you, I know you can do it! You are one of the strongest persons I know.”

Erza: “ Gray, please, please you cannot be serious. I need you here.”

Gray intended to let her hands go, but she grabbed them.

Erza: “ You said it would be ok, even for me to be sometimes weak and to have to depend on others.   
Prove to me that these words of yours weren’t empty! I thought you would love me!”

Gray, in a calming voice: “ I will always love you Erza. Always. But this is a task you have to face on your own sooner or later. Ruby will get bigger and every year she will have a birthday and I am sure you don’t want to make her sad in front of her future friends because there isn’t any birthday cake left for her.”

Erza: “ Of couse not!”

Gray: “ See, and this is exactly the reason why I am confident that you can do it.”

Erza: “ Oh no, no. Gray no! No ok, damnit no! This is your job Gray! This scenario you described will never happen because you will prevent it from happening (she was hanging onto him now). Don’t leave me here with this cake . You simply cannot leave me with this cake alone. Gray, Gray I am begging you here. You know that I cannot control myself. Oh please, please Gray, I don’t want to be a bad mother. I simply don't.”

Gray managed somehow to get her off him, as he quickly put on his jacket and shoes.

Erza was kneeling and looked up with teary eyes.  
God!!! He was only barely able to resist!

Then Erza got an idea and stand up.  
Erza: “I know what you are planning. There must be a sleeping portion in the cake.”  
Gray: “To be honest, no, there isn’t.”  
Erza: “You must be lying. You aren’t so irresponsible Gray. I know you better! You wouldn’t leave a helpless cake alone with me. I mean we are talking about me!”  
Gray: “ Look Erza. There is really no sleeping portion in it. Simply because I already tried this strategy last year. You were still able to eat all the following cakes sleep walking.”  
Erza: “You must be…”  
Erza looked at Gray’s deadly serious face.  
Erza: “Oh god I am really a cake annihilating monster!”  
Gray: “…”

Erza: “ You are now allowed to comfort me or at least to lie to cheer me up and tell me that I wouldn’t be so bad.”  
Gray: “ No comment, not without my lawyer.”  
Erza: “ Grayyyyy!”  
Gray: “I baked 150 cakes for Ruby’s birthday last year. Only one of these managed to exist on her birthday and I was so tired that I overslept almost half her birthday. Erza, I promised myself, that this wouldn’t happen again this year.”  
Erza: “But you said you only baked 100!”  
Gray: “Back then, I just didn’t want to tell you the whole truth to protect your feelings.“

Erza gasped in shock.

Gray: “Erza, I am counting on you, Ruby’s birthday is tomorrow. You only have to resist the temptatio-n for less than 20 hours. I know you can do it.”  
He was crossing his fingers.

And with these words he took Ruby and left the house.

The next hours were a few of the worst ones of Erza’s whole life.  
She realized how lucky she was to have such a patient husband but still … why couldn’t he protect this last cake till the bitter end? Shouldn’t she be disappointed in him for giving up so soon??  
And why did he have to be such a good-damn talented baker? If his cakes weren’t so damn deli-cious, even more yummier than those of the bakery store, this whole problem wouldn’t even exist! But no!  
He just had to be good at it, hadn’t he?  
And only look at this decoration!  
These were so damn beautiful, it hurt her eyes only to look at them, which he crafted out of sugar, there were little animals and flowers… Their whole purpose was of course only to let her feel even more miserable if she would eat the cake, she was certain about that, curse him! He really thought about everything, didn't he?  
It was obvious that he must have spent hours alone on decorating this beautiful cake. But the worst part was that this damn beautiful cake was on top of it a damn tasty cake.  
She sighed.  
This combo was simply too much for a cake lover like herself.   
It was night when Gray and Ruby were already sleeping when she couldn’t hold back any longer.

Fifteenth cake  
Gray woke up. He thought that he had heard someone crying. Instantly he was fully awake. This was an ability young parents develop naturally over time. He ran into Ruby’s room, but she was sleeping peacefully. But when she was sleeping this must mean...

He approached the kitchen carefully. The view which awaited him almost broke his heart.  
Erza was sobbeing in the corner of the kitchen, sitting on the cold floor in her pajama. She had buried her face in her knees and embraced them with her arms.

She didn’t even notice him approaching.

Gray: “Shh, Erza?”  
Erza panicked for a second and startled up.  
Erza: “ Oh Gray, it’s you.”  
Gray: “ Erza, what happened?”

Erza: “Nothing ok? Please go back to sleep, so that I can figure out how to, how to…”  
She cried and Gray hugged her tightly.  
Erza: “I am a horrible mother, I am the worst.”  
Gray: “Shhh this isn’t the case and you know it.”  
Erza: “No ok, just listen to me and don’t try to comfort me either.  
You put so much effort into her birthday cake and, and you trusted me and…”  
Gray was rubbing her back comfortingly.  
Erza: “I am the worst!!!”

Gray: “No, you are not!”

He took her tearstained and twisted face into his hands.  
(He really couldn’t bear this look on her face, everytime she was not happy was a crime, like a lost day on earth, he loved seeing her happy and smiling, seeing her sad almost broke his heart every damn single time.)  
Erza: “But I ate the cake. I couldn’t resist.”  
Gray: “So what? It was just a cake, Erza!”  
Erza: “It was not just a cake! You baked it with love. You baked it for...”  
Gray: “And you enjoyed it, the woman I love the most in the whole world, enjoyed eating my creation, how can I even ask for more than that?”  
Erza: “Gray, you are now the father of a girl, you know.”  
Gray: “ Before she is fully grown up, I am still allowed to say, that you are the only …”  
Erza: “Ok, ok, I got your point.” *sniff*  
Gray: “Ok, then listen up! We are both now going back to sleep for a few hours and then we will cele-brate Ruby’s birthday and everything will be great and the whole guild will be celebrating with us and Ruby will enjoy it and all of us will have a great day. How does that sound to you?”  
Erza: “So you are not angry…”  
Gray: “ Of course not!”  
Erza: “ But disappointed.”  
Gray: “Neither. I have known you for a long time now, Erza. I know you didn’t do it with any mean intentions in mind and I know your weakness for cake. I am loving you with all your strong points and weaknesses and you can eat thousands of cakes and this will not change anything about it, ok?”

Erza sniffed: “OK.”

Gray: “ OK, but first let’s wash your face, it hurts me to see you like that.”  
…  
…  
…  
Gray couldn’t believe it. He had managed to keep his mouth shut! During all this time.

The fifteenth cake was still standing hidden in the refrigerator, already awaiting its big reveal/moment on the following day.

14:1  
Erza:Gray

Yesssssss!


End file.
